College Students’ 2nd Biggest Problem: Roommates

When I worked with students at Temple, I had a friend in Housing who often had to deal with conflicts between students living together. She said that the biggest single cause of these problems was alcohol–not a shocker.

 

But the second biggest problem did surprise me: the fact that many students have never shared a room before. Many students arrive on campus never having been forced to deal with all the “little” things that can make or break a roommate relationship. Many students today are apparently what I like to call “Relationally Retarded.” (Don’t get mad at me, I mean retarded in the true sense of the word: slow to develop, and thus immature relationally).

 

They don’t know how to be considerate, how to resolve small conflicts about music volume and other noise, lights on/lights off, picking up, that sort of thing. Colleges build dorms assuming that students have basic life skills to handle sharing a room. But many students don’t have these skills, having never needed them, and otherwise small things blow up, so that they need grown-ups to figure out if Johnny scratched Billy’s PS3 disc.  

 

Add to this the phenomenon of “helicopter parents,” (ie, those who swoop in at a moment’s notice to advocate for their kid over every little thing) and you have high tensions among roommates. This is sad. 

 

So it was with interest that I saw this story about “Roommate Therapy.” Like couples therapy, but for roommates.  Most students elect to “get a divorce,” but for those who want to stick it out, they can see this therapist.  

 

Apparently, the woman profiled is doing big business among college students out in LA. (Where else?)

Interestingly, her first principle is to “Remember the Golden Rule.” Amazing how some things never go out of style.

 

 Roommate therapy helps students cope with co-habitants